don’t mind me while I vomit out my thoughts.
I’ve been laying around, trying to collect my thoughts on this whole situation ever since I got home last night. I can’t seem to verbalize completely the range of emotions/thoughts that have been zipping through my mind.
If there was one word to describe yesterday night, it’d be… comfort, ease, whatever synonyms there may be for just feeling eerily calm and content.
It was a big change, a good change and something that I’m not used to. It’s like this - I can talk about school, I can talk about my dorky adventures in the alpines, I can talk about my love for old buildings, I can talk about just… anything.
And here’s where I get scared and start questioning. The analyst in me decides to emerge and screw around with my head. Not to mention that I’ve vowed never to let anyone affect me like this again, and I still stand by it. So here I am, just trying so hard not to fall into my own trap.
I try not to think long-term. I’ve only got so much to give, and with the amount of things ahead of me, I need to keep myself together. I can’t afford to recklessly give another piece of myself away without thinking it through.
Therein lies another problem. Am I thinking too much again?
I’m trying to learn from last time - I’m trying not to expect “too much”.
But look, I believe that I deserve… I’m entitled to hold my standards.
You - you just couldn’t meet my standards because you couldn’t handle them. You couldn’t handle me… and you decided to reverse that and put it on me.
Anyway, the point is that this time, it’s different. I’m trying to keep my distance because I don’t want to screw up.
Is there some type of protocol I can or should follow? Am I supposed to be grown up about this? What do I do?
For once, I feel like I’m supposed to do something different with this and I can’t quite figure out how to.
Verbal diarrhea much?
… three days seem pretty long to me.
PS: This shit confuses me.
The Sun skydives into Capricorn this week illuminating your fifth house of romance and starpower. You’re the belle of the ball when you’re out socializing –perfect timing for the power-packed roster of parties on your agenda. Proper wardrobing is required to put you in full-on high spirits. If you don’t feel sexy in your current selection of warm clothes, treat yourself to a shopping trip over the weekend when the recession-friendly sale prices are at their finest. A pre-Christmas splurge is fully sanctioned too, but remember that stunning accessories like a pile of chainlink necklaces and vintage pearls can make a simple outfit look like they came from a couture collection. Single Virgos are poised to meet their soulmates now. With Mars traveling backwards through your dreamy twelfth house, this could be a rekindling of romance with someone from your past.
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